Tips for a more respectful tone of communication
You can contribute to a respectful tone of communication by following these rules:
- Greet each other in the morning and again when you leave. Be aware of the colleagues you meet during the day and greet them with a nod, a smile or a hallo. Don’t forget to thank people when you receive help.
- Never speak ill about colleagues and managers. Always speak respectfully of colleagues when attending customers, even if they just made a mistake. Do not make negative comments about your colleagues’ appearance, clothes or language, for example.
- Show an interest in what your colleagues are doing. Recognise their efforts.
- Keep your professional disagreements separate from any personal disagreements.
Use the language constructively
Respectful communication shows that you respect one another:
- Use proper and clear language to avoid being misunderstood. Reply to a colleague’s questions and use words/phrases that you know they understand. Listen to what the other has to say and don’t interrupt. Ask clarifying questions to make sure you understand what the other is telling you and to show that you are listening.
- Talk in the first person (‘I’ language), for example “I think…” and “I feel…” In this way, you stay on your own turf, so to speak, and focus on your own needs and experiences, instead of using ‘you’ language, for example saying, “You always…,” which is easily perceived as blaming and criticism.
- Think about your tone and the pitch of your voice.
- Admit if you were wrong or have changed your mind.
Use body language constructively
- Look at the other person and make eye contact.
- Show that you’re listening and that you understand what is being said, for example by nodding.
- Don’t fold your arms.
- Stand when the other person is standing and sit if he or she is sitting.
Give constructive feedback
Constructive feedback focuses on the matter at hand, not the person. For example, if you say, “You never tidy up after your shift,” it can seem abusive and may start a conflict.
You should stay on your own turf, so to speak, that is, you should focus on your own experience of the situation and explain your own needs.
For example, you can say: “Can we agree to tidy up after each shift so that when we arrive for work the shop is tidy and we’ll be ready to serve the customers?”
Think about the time and the place when you give someone negative feedback. Never criticise a person while others – colleagues or customers – are listening.