Tips on managing conflicts
- Identify the conflict early on. Be aware of the fine line between disagreement and conflict at step 1 of the conflict ladder. There is much to be gained from managing the conflict early on.
- Put conflict and how to manage conflict on the agenda at your shop. Be open about how you react to conflict or what you find difficult in conflict situations with customers.
- Don’t think of the customer as ‘difficult’ (don’t be personal); think of the situation as difficult (be objective).
- First try to understand the customer; then, try to make yourself understood.
- Don’t think that you know what the customer thinks. It’s better to ask one more time.
- Describe the situation. Say out loud how you see the situation, but without blaming the customer.
- Be factual. Only say things that the customer can also accept as facts. Everything else can be misunderstood or perceived as blaming.
- Let the customer feel you’re on the same side and have the same goal: to resolve the issue! “Let’s see what we can do together to…”
- Accept if you don’t have the energy for conflict and ask a colleague for help before the conflict escalates and becomes more difficult to resolve.
- Practice all kinds of customer situations; also the easy ones.
Ask a colleague for help
If you are having difficulties managing a conflict, ask for support from a colleague. You can agree with your colleagues in advance about how you want to be helped, for example:
- Ask a colleague to take over servicing the customer.
- Ask a colleague to help you and the customer manage the conflict.
- Ask a colleague to offer to help you if they see you having a conflict with a customer.
If you notice that a colleague is having a conflict with a customer, stay close by so that the colleague can ask for your help if they need it.
When conflicts can't be resolved
Not all conflicts can be resolved. This may be due to several reasons:
- Not enough time: There is not always enough time to ask questions and understand the customer, or for the customer to explain her version of the situation. For example, if you are a checkout assistant at a supermarket, or if there’s a long queue of people waiting at the counter.
- You don’t have the emotional energy: Because conflict is about emotions – yours too – you won’t always have the patience not to become angry with the customer. If you already know this about yourself, ask a colleague for help as soon as possible before the conflict escalates.
- The customer doesn’t want to resolve the conflict: Maybe the customer is just having a really bad day and maybe the customer was already frustrated and angry before entering the shop. If you listen to the customer’s story, it might help. Or maybe there is really nothing you can do.
It can be very difficult to manage customers like these, but the more prepared you are, the easier it will be. If you’re sure of yourself, you will send a more confident signal to the customer and you’ll also be less affected by the situation. Prepare yourself with questions and phrases and talk together at the workplace about how best to manage these situations.
The customer may behave in a certain way or be in a certain mood that doesn’t allow for dialogue. In these situations the tools in the conflict ladder won’t be useful.
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