What to consider before approaching your colleagues
- When is my help needed to resolve a conflict? If a colleague in a conflict is not taking initiative to manage the conflict, this might be a sign that your help is needed. Your colleague might not have realised there is a conflict or might find it difficult to take initiative to manage it.
- The conflict can have different levels of complexity and emotion. Consider your best options for helping based on how much energy you have and your role at the workplace.
- Have others acted on the conflict, such as your manager, someone from HR, a health and safety representative or employee representative? This means the conflict is being dealt with and you should assess whether your help is needed.
How to help colleagues in conflict
- Approach your colleagues directly. If you have the energy to approach one of the parties in the conflict and to talk to them without further escalating the conflict, it is a good way to help the parties in a more informal way. If you are a colleague or a manager, this could be the right approach.
- Go to a manager. If you cannot take the conflict up with the parties yourself, then you can go to one of their managers and make them aware of the situation. The manager can choose to act on what you say or pass the task on to someone else at the workplace.
- Go to someone in charge of conflict resolution. Alternatively, you can go directly to the person who has been appointed as the contact person in the event of conflicts. If you don’t have such a person does at your workplace, you should contact the HR department instead, or the health and safety or employee representative.
Dialogoe
If you choose to help, it’s important that you engage in dialogue, listen actively and ask open-ended question.
- Dialogue: Remember that people in conflict aren’t particularly susceptible to sound arguments. So don’t try to resolve the conflict or suggest what the parties ought to do. They aren’t capable of thinking or acting rationally.
- Active listening: Allow your colleague to explain their side of the story while you listen actively and with an open mind.
- Ask questions: Show that you’re listening and that you understand. Ask open-ended questions using who, what, where, how, when, and why. You might not be able to help. If this is the case, remember to commend yourself for having tried.
And if you did not help resolve the conflict, consider whether it’s time to seek help from others at the workplace, for example a manager.
Read more
- Conflicts between colleagues - the whole section
- Offensive behaviour
- Conflict with customers
- Violence and robbery
