How to manage conflict
Assess the matter before you intervene
It isn’t necessarily always the right thing to intervene in a conflict. Whether or not to intervene depends on the issue at hand and the relationship between the parties involved. You should assess:
- How does the conflict manifest itself?
- What step of the conflict ladder has the conflict reached?
- What is the cause of the conflict?
- How has the conflict been managed so far?
- What is needed to resolve the conflict?
- Who should be included, when and where (in what context)?
Now, you can consider whether to engage in dialogue with the parties and encourage them to take steps to resolve the conflict on their own. Or whether to invite the parties to a dialogue meeting where you act as a mediator; asking questions and helping them to resolve the conflict.
If your employees are no longer on speaking terms, the conflict has reached step four or higher on the conflict ladder. If this is the case, you should consider whether you are the right person to act as the mediator.
Be assertive and be clear
Once you’ve identified a conflict, it’s important that you’re clear about your observation of the conflict and what you intend to do about it.
Remember that the conflict won’t be resolved without the parties themselves. They are best positioned to understand the root causes of the conflict. Your role as the manager is to take responsibility for ensuring conflict resolution. Either play the part of mediator yourself, or call for assistance from a professional mediator.
Managing the conflict as a mediator
Agree the framework and ground rules beforehand. Agree the framework for the process if you choose to mediate the conflict yourself. Who will participate? When and for how long? Deciding ground rules will help the parties respect each other’s boundaries. For example it will help them accept:
- That there are different versions of the conflict
- That you can only speak for yourself
- That it is important not to interrupt
- That it is important to try not to become defensive
- That it is important to show willingness to understand the other party
- That it is important to make an effort to make yourself understood
Engage in dialogue: Conflict management requires dialogue. All parties have their say, hear each other out without judging, and stay open and curious. The goal is to find a solution; not to place blame.
How the conflict is resolved differs depending on whether it’s a value conflict, a personal (relationship) conflict, an interest conflict or a task/process conflict, but no matter the type of conflict, dialogue is required to manage it. This is how you proceed:
- Re-establish contact between the parties and agree on the issue of their disagreement.
- Find out whether the parties really want to resolve the conflict.
- Have the parties each tell their version of things without being interrupted.
- Identify the overall content of the conflict and the specific issue.
- Identify the underlying interests and demands behind the parties’ arguments and viewpoints.
- Brainstorm to identify solutions and then choose a solution.
- Make an agreement that both parties can agree on.
Remember that being impartial can be difficult. As a manager you may have an interest in the conflict resolving in a specific way, or there may be things that it will be difficult for you to disregard in your future relationship with the employee(s) in question. It’s therefore important that you think about this when you talk with the parties involved.
Read more
- Conflicts between colleagues - the whole section
- Offensive behaviour
- Conflict with customers
- Violence and robbery
